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Are words like “I Can’t” flooding your mind recently? Perhaps it’s high
time to dump them
for more uplifting words and what better way to learn
from this story below:
Donna's fourth grade classroom looked
like many others I had seen in
the past. The teacher's desk was in front and faced the students. The
bulletin board
featured student work. In most respects it appeared to be a
typically traditional elementary classroom. Yet something seemed
different that day I entered it for the first time.
My job was to make classroom visitations and encourage implementation
of a training program that focused on language arts ideas that would empower
students to feel good about themselves
and take charge of their lives.
Donna was one of the volunteer teachers who participated in this
project.
I
took an empty seat in the back of the room and watched. All the
students were working on a task, filling a sheet of notebook
paper with thoughts
and ideas. The ten-year-old student next to me was filling her page
with "I Can'ts". "I can't kick
the soccer ball past second base." "I can't
do long division with more than three numerals." "I can't get Debbie to
like
me." Her page was half full and she showed no signs of letting up. She
worked on with determination and persistence. I
walked down the row
glancing at students' papers. Everyone was writing sentences,
describing things they couldn't do.
By
this time the activity engaged my curiosity, so I decided to check
with the teacher to see what was going on but I noticed
she too was busy
writing. I felt it best not to interrupt. "I can't get John's mother to
come for a teacher conference."
"I can't get my daughter to put gas in
the car." "I can't get Alan to use words instead of fists."
Thwarted in
my efforts to determine why students and teacher were
dwelling on the negative instead of writing the more positive "I
Can"
statements, I returned to my seat and continued my observations.
Students wrote for another ten minutes. They
were then instructed to
fold the papers in half and bring them to the front. They placed their "I
Can't" statements
into an empty shoe box. Then Donna added hers. She
put the lid on the box, tucked it under her arm and headed out the
door and
down the hall.
Students followed the teacher. I followed the students. Halfway down
the hallway Donna
entered the custodian's room, rummaged around and came
out with a shovel. Shovel in one hand, shoe box in the other, Donna
marched
the students out to the school to the farthest corner of the playground.
There they began to dig. They were
going to bury their "I Can'ts"!
The digging took over ten minutes because most of the fourth graders
wanted a turn.
The box of "I Can'ts" was placed in a position at the
bottom of the hole and then quickly covered with dirt. Thirty-one
10
and 11 year-olds stood around the freshly dug grave site. At this point
Donna announced, "Boys and girls, please
join hands and bow your heads."
They quickly formed a circle around the grave, creating a bond with
their hands.
They lowered their heads and waited. Donna delivered the eulogy.
"Friends, we gathered here today to honor the memory
of 'I Can't.'
While he was with us here on earth, he touched the lives or everyone, some
more than others. We have
provided 'I Can't' with a final resting place and a
headstone that contains his epitaph. He is survived by his brothers
and
sisters, 'I Can', 'I Will', and 'I'm Going to Right Away'. They are not as
well known as their famous relative and
are certainly not as strong and
powerful yet. Perhaps some day, with your help, they will make an even
bigger mark on
the world. May 'I Can't' rest in peace and may everyone
present pick up their lives and move forward in his absence. Amen."
As
I listened, I realized that these students would never forget this day.
Writing "I Can'ts", burying them and hearing the
eulogy. That was a major
effort on this part of the teacher. And she wasn't done yet.
She turned the students around,
marched them back into the classroom
and held a wake. They celebrated the passing of "I Can't" with cookies,
popcorn
and fruit juices. As part of the celebration, Donna cut a large
tombstone from butcher paper. She wrote the words "I Can't"
at the top
and put RIP in the middle. The date was added at the bottom. The paper
tombstone hung in Donna's classroom
for the remainder of the year.
On those rare occasions when a student forgot and said, "I Can't",
Donna simply
pointed to the RIP sign. The student then remembered that "I
Can't" was dead and chose to rephrase the statement. I wasn't
one of Donna's
students. She was one of mine. Yet that day I learned an enduring
lesson from her as years later, I
still envision that fourth grade class
laying to rest, "I Can't".
So ditch the “I Can’ts” in
your mental mind and replace them with their
greater siblings 'I Can', 'I Will', and 'I'm Going to Right Away'.
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